Overcoming Sexual Abuse

October 2004

Breaking the silence of sexual abuse is difficult because of the secrecy and shame surrounding it.  Victims often mistakenly believe they were to blame.  Most sexual abuse takes place in the context of a "power differential," where one person is in control or in authority over another - ie.  an adult with a child, a doctor with a patient, a minister with a church member, etc.  It is confusing for the victim, who may reason, "Well, he/she is an adult (pastor, parent, therapist, teacher, coach), so it must be okay."  It's not okay.  It's never okay.  If this is happening to you, tell someone you trust right away. 

If this has happened to you in the past, here are a few suggestions for healing.

• Break the silence.  Share the secret with someone you trust.
  
• Writing 'your story' can be very helpful in getting yourself in touch with feelings you may be denying.
  
• Watch for depression, anxiety, and self-destructive behaviors.  If you feel you are losing control or 'going crazy,' talk to your doctor.
  
• Counseling is helpful, especially group therapy.  Choose a therapist who specializes in sexual abuse.
  
• Enlist the support of your loved ones.  Don't try to go through this alone.
  
• Overcoming sexual abuse is a process. Be patient knowing that the healing journey has both a beginning and an end.
  
• God's promise stands:  "All things work together for good for those who love the Lord."  (Romans 8:28) Bad things do happen to good people, but God was with you then, and He stands by to help you now.  Let Him bear your sorrows.

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Dr. Libby Skidmore... Wife, mother of three and Registered Psychologist, Dr. Skidmore enjoys equipping women with simple life changing "how to's" to improve their lives.  Visit her on-line at www.drlibbyskidmore.com.